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spaloonbabooguuscooties · 2 years ago

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You could drink your whole life away and still never get that taste out of your mouth.

half commission for @salempie half completely self indulgent dreck pieced together from our insane conversations abt franke and elka. told myself id finally write a big explanation for all of the dum shit between these two for context so Thats Under The Cut.

so I already wrote some stuff about elka and franke's relationship back in whispering rock so feel free to look at that too . it goes over elkas blindness/‘seeing’ with clairvoyance and how her and franke started talking & all that good stuff

SO FOR STARTERS. a lot of thsi wont make sense without a big breakdown of elka herself. because elkas potential as a character is like insane to me. like just the idea of her in the long run of her life reads as something so potentially tragic; a young girl whos plagued with visions of doom and destined to be an outcast even in her own home for things she cant control and clings to the One vision of her wedding that she thinks is 'happy' even despite the fact she doesnt really love the person in it. im choosing to take the li-po doc as canon here because its funny shes the only one with backstory-

but my fucking god even the smallest look into what her parents are like is soo fucked up to me. and i do think elka especially gets a lot of influence from her mother; its funny how easily you can fit mabel doom into a box just from what elka says about her. knees deep in an avon-esque pyramid scheme and leaning into her daughters depressing ass visions & taking her to therapy at age 11 (which would be good if not for the kind of person you can already assume she is & so i doubt the therapist she has really does her any good. i think they share one). she reads as a very I Am My Daughters Best Friend type of mom to me and i can see elka being a centerpiece of the conversation when she has her Amway Girls over for drinks. wine-mom that lets her kid sip from the glass so she can feel like a big girl type deal.

and you can tell that elka is trying to hard to be too mature for her age even in her campster posts. how she writes letters to nils' mom and exchanges baking recipes with her and that feels like she really only interacts with middle aged women and not really many people her own age outside of camp (like her moms friends). which makes sense shed feel the need to ‘grow up’ early when shes probably had to process so many hard things at a young age bc of her visions.

theres a lot of filling the blanks here of course.

elka obsesses over nils to an overbearing degree even despite the fact he treats her like shit ('you promised no talking' and so on) and she treats him bad right back. she leans onto stereotypical heterosexual ideals like taking care of him and overblowing how Manly and Protective JT is and she admires romance stories like pride and prejudice and it feels like she Projects Soooooooo much of what she wants onto boys she barely feels anything for without knowing what its actually supposed to feel like. and clearly she WANTS that ideal future, a happy marriage, an actual romance- but according to nils even when they were dating she ignored him most of the time, which just seems Very Telling

like shes filling a role, overcompensating for emotions and lacktherof she cant digest quite yet, and it only makes more sense when you know shes had visions of their future together. how could that be bad for her? shouldnt it be like the books and movies? but she doesnt really connect the fact that her visions are only for Doomed futures, and if she does she certainly doesnt show it. Doomed relationships. it's been a part of her family for generations and she isn't turning out much different, is she? i dont think she even realizes thats all she ever sees yet, just that its Going to happen. that it's Her future, and it always will be

and like, her only reference for a real marriage so far has been her own parents, and she already Knows they have an affair, and theyre doomed to split, (and i actually like to think they were in rough waters anyway and elka was a child meant to mend a crumbling marriage but thats a whole other thing) and so without a framework for what an actual healthy relationship is supposed to be like she cant really grasp that her relationship with nils Isnt that and isnt ever going to be. she can only cling to this one happy idea of the future, and thats why she keeps chasing him, self fulfilling the actuality of her situation and creating and fostering the unhappy life they will inevitably live together.

and that bleeds into everything else in her life, of course, because as the years go on, as the visions grow in number it just makes sense for her to fall into the predictability of her life. she always knows whats going to happen, her visions are Never wrong- so why try to change things? shes had time to process tragedies days, weeks, months, years before they happen, shes had time to settle into every crack of her life. her parents divorce, her various break ups, her future with the psychonauts.

“and she's already seen so much of a future with [nils] she feels trapped almost. Like she has to be happy in it or else it just means her life is miserable. And it's a mixture of pride and fear of the unknown that keeps her clinging to the One thing she knows. BUT LIKE!!! She knows what's gonna happen! It's easier to grieve when she's been grieving for years... She wants so badly to be happy, But to do that she has to step into the unfamiliar. And that's more terrifying than staying the same miserable person she's always been.”

and thats where franke comes in— and yeah you Do have to take a lot of liberties for frankes character since it’s basically, like, all the info for her is just that shes a Supreme Baby Dyke but thats enough for me. i think she has protective butch itch in her . on campster shes defensive over other women evidenced in the way she keeps watch over the girls cabins for lili when elton is pursuing her . but shes also eager to please and constantly trying to make kitty laugh and also Very naive. but she tries! and i think it only solidifies more as she gets Older and really gets a hold of her feelings & her powers. this is incredibly franke to me

and i think as they grow older together— because i think franke and elka Do stay friends, both because elka is just pathetic and needs that positive connection even if she doesnt realize it and because i think franke is a very Loyal person & annoyingly persistent if you let her be . and i am also a kitty/franke truther. because kittys also important in this web we weave

because i think franke and kitty stay together after camp, to a point— theres a falling out facilitated on kittys end and they break up, but reconnect, and franke kind of... saves kitty from herself a little, from her strict military father whos love only extends thru finances , from her own stifling future , she drives all the way to bakersville in her shitty van handmedowned from her dad and they move in together eventually . they get jobs at the motherlobe , because it’s a pipeline to a decent job, because it’s whats easy, because franke doesn’t really have a future, because she’s never really been good at much, because shes never had much sense, because franke doesnt really care as long as she can live and help, sometimes, if she can, and because kitty’s there, and because elka’s there, and shes so used to being elkas eyes now and shes good at it. shes good at being the muscle of the missions when her colleagues lack it, when hypnosis and predictions arent enough. she likes it that way.

and elka appreciates frankes company. she listens, shes sweet, she does little things for her that no ones ever really put the effort for before; she likes her. franke is strong and bold and makes her laugh and shes always there but god elka cant let go of that future, of that box shes put herself in, that her mothers put her in, of being a Good Wife to a Loving Husband, of getting married normally and falling into unfailing familiarity. thats all shes ever wanted and shes not going to jeopardize that . not for franke, who may not be a boy but is handsome like one, whos always held her after every break up with nils and the men that filled empty days inbetween.

and elka is too stubborn to recognize those feelings anyway. too prideful to accept a way out. too set in her cycle no matter how much she hates it, her little self fulfilling tragedy of her own making, wallowing in her own doom. she struggles for control of her own life when she feels like every choice has been made for her anyway, she puts up her walls and carefully constructs what people see. but franke was always harder to trick, because while empathy isnt a particularly useful psychic power it’s certainly an inconvenient one. all franke has to do is get too close and all those carefully crafted walls fall apart, and elkas control is gone, and thats all she really has. and she tries to distance herself, really she does, but franke is also too persistent. and elka wears gloves, keeps contact that would make her walls crumble from happening as best as she can, but she cant really keep herself from the brief moments where she feels like someone actually fucking cares about her.

and that slightest lack of control, the need to wrestle it back is why she proposes to nils the next time theres a falling out�� she knows how it happens, she plans every detail. and he accepts, despite everything. gets her a cheap ring and it feels like lead on her finger and its nothing at all like how shed thought it to be when she was a kid, theres no feather light feeling in her chest, only that dreadful reality that she cant turn this back. BUT WHAT CAN U DO LMAO

elka doesnt tell franke about this engagement until later, on their way back from a mission. late at night when neither of them can sleep, and franke invites elka to smoke in her van, because its been so long since theyve been alone like that, because elkas been so strangely absent lately. and because of everything, because frankes always so damn nice, because elka hates the feel of the ring on her finger, because she let herself get high alone with franke fucking athens whos always been so good at pulling her apart— the truth of it all spills out and its messy and emotional and she hates it, she hates the life shes made for herself, but franke makes it easier to bare and now shes here and shes so close and god she wishes she could see her smile again, she wishes she could see franke, thats all she needs right now and she cant but she can touch her and she can hold her and for tonight, she can be known, she can let those walls crumble, she can be something else just for once here with franke . she can kiss her here in this van, touch that happiness for just a moment, and forget the future that waits for her outside of it. franke begs her to forget the wedding, to just let herself be happy— and god, she wants to, but it means turning her back on everything shes known and everything shes saw to be inevitable, and franke has never been in her future, so if it were supposed to work out why hadnt she seen it and she cant, she cant take that risk but she can have this, even if its temporary, she can have it.

and just as soon as she gets a taste of it, its gone. after that night, after the missions over and theyre back at the motherlobe and have to pretend like nothing happened (franke doesnt, of course she tells kitty about it, she tells kitty about everything.) but that brief moment together haunts elka every time she sees franke, sees herself through frankes eyes, sees herself in her wedding dress because god its all franke can think about! of course it is! she knows how much elkas destroying herself she knows how much misery shes wallowing in that kiss in the van felt like an emotional punch to the teeth and she hasnt ever forgotten it and all she can do is sit and watch while elka throws herself into a loveless marriage. she can come to her wedding and see the way the bride and groom kiss with the emotional weight of a wet towel no matter how hard elka tries to hide it under a pretty dress and bouquets of flowers and meticulous planning.

and elka resents nils but she cant really hate him, its not his fault, not really. he feels trapped just like she does and his feelings of misery only cycle back into hers . they fight and gnash and wear away at each other and its a relationship thats crashed and burned a million times before elka even said i do. and its inevitable that she falls into her mothers habits, a sip of wine here and there to loosen up, until it turns to a glass, until it falls into a bottle on nights when whatever work nils does runs late.

but franke’s still there. shes always been there, hasn’t she? always trying to play knight, always trying to save her, dragging her home when shes stumbling over herself because god who else is going to do it but her? who else is left to care? certainly not nils. never nils. because franke knows her. because franke pities her. shes always pitied her. shes always known. and elka hates it, she resents it, but god in the same breath she’s desperate for it, she envies it to her very bones. elka is a mess but after frankes done with her she has someone to go back to that loves her. and god what elka wouldnt do to have that. to take it and keep it for herself because shes never ever got to have that movie romance shes always wanted.

so now comes this.

because elkas particularly miserable and particularly spiteful and she needs to get franke to understand, just for a moment, drink with her and get on her level and she needs her there with her no matter how her pity makes her feel. no matter how much it makes her shake with anger and envy and desperation, but god the way franke looks at her, the way she still tries to salvage what they have, the soft, slurred way she tells her that it’s okay but its not okay, none of this is okay, it never has been and she just wants franke to shut up and see that, and if she cant then she’ll show her, she’ll show her all the raw angry desperation, with too much teeth and hands that claw and grab and she’ll know why everyones always said she’s too much.

and she knows this puts her on nils’ level too. that this makes her a cheater, that shes no better than he is now. no better than her father and his affair. but god, she wants to be selfish. she wants to be in control. just for once. she wants to feel right and she wants to feel happy and she wants to feel loved. thats all shes ever wanted. and franke will let her have that, just for a little while, at the very least.

anyway. sorry. sorry for being crazy . this isnt even getting into the shit after the comic takes place . elkas stupid brainworld thag she has to overcome in order to finally be allowed in the polycule and live happily ever as worlds first lesbian divorceman

sorry for all the shit i make up instead of caring about actual characters with screentime . bye !

#ive spent months on thsi stupid lesbian toxic yuri slow burn relationship so you all better clap or im blowing this building up #psychonauts #elka doom #franke athens #ill paint the town red

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imsorryifyourelate · 26 days ago

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for those who's also cannot follow the plot here's summary:

**Past:** One witch is beheaded, and another is about to be burned, but a lightning strike scatters the crowd.

**Present:** Amabel is bathing and catches Norman spying on her. He and Tedd discuss the asylum for the mentally ill and recent murders in a nearby town. Amabel feels a sudden surge of rage and bloodlust, realizing it’s time to summon the Master. He tasks her with going to the asylum, finding a special artifact, and anointing it with the blood of a descendant of the Protestant priest who imprisoned him. The Master assigns Hobello, a shapeshifting creature (toad, crow, cat), to assist her.

Amabel encounters a pirate in a tavern, Edmund the Sea Devil, who boasts of his adventures and catches her attention. Hobello helps her lure him outside, where she senses his magical power but doesn’t yet understand its nature. At home, someone bursts in, calling her by her real name.

**Past:** Robert Dudley consults a seer to locate Amabel.

**Present:** Dudley confronts her, revealing her past: when she was to be burned, lightning struck, and she fled, married a sickly nobleman, changed her name, and soon became a widow. Dudley tests her abilities and gives her an ultimatum: help England by investigating murders at the asylum or face execution.

Amabel arrives in Stratford-upon-Avon, where she reunites with Edmund and meets Regina. At night, her bloodlust leads her into the forest, where she fights a red-eyed monster but loses consciousness. The next morning, a stranger helps her out of the forest, but a corpse is soon discovered nearby. Chaos ensues as everyone blames each other. Amabel touches the victim’s heart to uncover details of the murder.

At the asylum, Amabel meets Joan, who asks her to wash a patient. She overhears a conversation suggesting sinister plans for her. Joan shows her torture tools, triggering memories of her own past suffering. She encounters Cordelia, who is accused of a relationship with Christopher, a patient.

Amabel washes an old man who begins to harm himself, seemingly controlled by his daughters, Goneril and Regan. With help from Henry, Rogers, and Ralph, they subdue the "demons," but the old man dies. Cordelia mourns her father while Joan scolds her.

Amabel begins teaching Aurora, who shares details about Shakespeare’s sick son, Hamlet, and other family troubles. Aurora gives her a parchment with mysterious verses. Amabel visits Shakespeare, who is distraught over his son’s illness.

Back at the asylum, Amabel learns of Eugenie’s possession. Joan initially refuses to let her in, but Ralph prays, calming Eugenie. Christopher Marlo, believed to be possessed, is brought in but reveals he’s an actor pretending to be demon-possessed. He threatens Amabel but she offers him a partnership.

Amabel is summoned by Robert Dudley, who urges her to hurry with her mission. She ventures into the forest with Edmund and experiences a vision. The next day, while cleaning, she is interrupted by Edward, who tells her Dudley is waiting. On a walk, she meets Ralph, but her thoughts are consumed by mysterious verses:

*"What’s in a name? That which we call a rose / By any other name would smell as sweet."*

#graphic novel #romance club #visual novel #novel #fantasy novel #romance novels #rc shakespeare's code #shakespeare's code

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mxtheo3 · 3 months ago

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“You believe that Revenge should take the higher priority than Mercy”

This episode is full of good line

#blake’s 7 #blakes 7 #and it’s nice to hear Tarrant getting to deliver it #at least they started to make him less bratty and make more sense #would prefer to hear it from Cally #del terrant #kerr avon #series c ep 07

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greencheekconure27 · 1 month ago

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Rewatching Blake's 7 again.

Somehow I like Roj Blake even more now despite knowing about all the fucked up stuff in the future.

(He's just so, idk,...poised? Steady? In those early episodes. Even in the pilot where he's extremely confused you get this underlying sense of competence from him that really helps sell his top level resistance leader backstory)

(also Gareth Thomas's voice is just really nice)

Season 1 Avon is still adorable

Early Vila seems a lot more competent than I remember from later seasons.

Still wish they did more with Jenna, Gan, and Zen. And Cally. I love Cally.

#blake's 7 #rewatch #roj blake #kerr avon #vila restal #cally #olag gan #zen #jenna stannis

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thebeautyvault101 · 1 year ago

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Happy Sunday, beautiful people. I have the perfect fix for your Sunday reset. Soaking away the stress in a Senses Bubble Bath makes for a week of getting it done right. Avon has nine distinct and amazing scents in a tall 24-ounce bottle. It literally takes just a cap or two to turn your soaking tub into a private oasis. You’ll want to try all nine scents, and I promise you won’t be disappointed. My top 3 are cherry blossom, sensitive skin, and orange and honeysuckle. If I told you there are 50 uses for Senses Bubble Bath, you would say, Girl, I know you’re lying. I’ll save that for another post. Make your favorite scents yours today for just $8.99.

#beautyproducts #avon products #skincare #avoncosmetics #beauty tips #avonrep #glowingskin #eyeshadow #skincare routine #makeup #bubble bath #senses #avonbubblebath #sensesbubblebath #sunday reset #soakawaystress

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mediumsizedwildcat · 1 month ago

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The first Lighthouse scene with Lucanis actually makes me a little mad (especially with Avon, who is Rivaini) so this is me doing something about it

technically my Rook but I'll try to steer clear of pronouns for Rook, first Lighthouse conversation with Lucanis spoilers (edit: Spite doesn't actually talk in this)

— ☾ —

Fighting was exhausting. Travelling was also exhausting. The Crossroads of Eluvians made it easier, though the group seemed tense. Not surprising, the Ossuary was deep under water and when they were finally out, Caterina was gone. Dead. According to Illario, anyway. The least surprising was how Rook found them –Bellara, Neve, and Lucanis. In the kitchen, tea for Bellara and coffee for Neve, discussing how to get a demon out.

Rook was quickly roped into the discussion and stated, honestly, that there had to be another way. Lucanis shouldn't have had to die and the spirit deserved better, too. There was a beat of quiet as Lucanis stared into the fire. Leaning against a fireplace didn't seem the best idea, but he wasn't wearing any straying fabrics and the fireplace was probably magic. Maybe the Caretaker had lit the fire in the first place, who knew?

Suddenly, out of nowhere, Lucanis' head whipped around and blood dripped down his uneven mustache and beard, part of it caught by his fingers as they went to cradle his nose. All three of them, Rook, Neve, and Bellara, startled to attention, reaching forward despite the table between them, worry plain on their faces.

“No,” he pushed his hand toward them as if to stop them from moving closer, “it's fine.” Lucanis jumped to the reassurance, “I'm fine.”

Rook frowned. Why would a spirit hurt the person they're possessing? Instead of pondering, Rook asked outright, “What did he do that for?”

The assassin brushed his hands off on his clothes, purple now stained bloody. “Throwing a tantrum when he doesn't get his way.”

“But he could just take you over,” Neve said, reminding everyone of what demons were capable of. “Make you do what he wants.”

Bellara saw the positives, her mind working as fast as that of the resident detective. “It's, you know. Not great. But, kind of good news? In a way?”

The conversation could've concluded. Rook could've said that this was not fine, that Lucanis shouldn't have been used to this. But the demon's behavior worried Rook too much. Why was he throwing a tantrum? What did Lucanis hear that the rest of them couldn't?

“What exactly do you mean, he's not getting his way?”

Lucanis raised a brow, but continued his evasive reassuring. “It's fine, Rook, I can handle him. Just give me a minute.” Lucanis turned his face toward the fire again, “He'll get bored once everyone leaves.”

Oh. Engagement. That made sense. “Or you could let him talk to us,” Rook suggested.

Barely concealed surprise spread over Lucanis' face, while Neve didn't bother to conceal it at all. The question was Lucanis', “You want the demon to take over?”

“That's not what I mean,” Rook's hands waved no. “But we are talking about him. I'd imagine there wasn't many sane fadefolk for him to talk to in the Ossuary either. Lucanis, you're not the only one who was cut off from any sort of social interaction down there. What you went through, the demon went through, too. It makes sense that he has a need to converse with others, to have someone besides you, since you simply ignore him.”

“So you're saying this is my fault?” Lucanis stared at Rook intently. Slightly offended, even.

Rook sighed, shoulders sagging. “If that's all you heard, sure. Just give the demon a voice, will you? He's as much a person as us.”

Lucanis' jaw dropped but he quickly collected it off the ground and once again turned toward the fire. “I will think about it.”

Apparently, that was the conversation. Rook sighed, but accepted it. Not quite defeat, but not a win either. “Well, welcome to the team,” Rook concluded. “Both of you.”

#spite deserves so much better than being continuously dismissed #i see you spite it's okay you're a person & you have every right to be part of conversations #dragon age #dragon age the veilguard #da spite #dragon age lucanis #da rook #neve gallus #bellara lutare #datv spoilers #my writing

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theoutcastrogue · 5 months ago

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Ballade of the Hanged Men

According to legend, François Villon wrote his iconic Ballade des pendus ("Ballad of the Hanged", c.1489) in prison, waiting for his own execution. Not true. Fittingly for a rogue, Villon disappeared from Paris and from history, and his ultimate fate will forever remain unknown.

This 2013 translation by David Georgi does not retain the poem's rhyme, but I think it perfectly captures the mood. Original Middle French after the cut, for modern French spelling and a literal English translation see wikipedia.

Brothers, humans, who live on after us, don’t harden your hearts and turn away, for if you take pity on wretches like us, the sooner will God have mercy on you. You see us strung up here, five, six in a row; as for our flesh, which we nourished too well, it has fallen away, devoured or rotted, and we, the bones, will soon be ash and dust. Let no one mock at our pitiful state, but pray to God that he absolve us all.

If we dare to call you brother, do not disdain us, though the law saw fit to kill us in the name of justice; for you know not all are blessed alike with sense and reason. Therefore go with quiet heart and intercede for us with the Son of the Virgin Mary; ask that his grace toward us may not run dry and let him save us from the firestorms of hell. We are dead; let no one harm us further, but pray to God that he absolve us all.

The rain has soaked us through and washed us clean and the sun has dried and blackened us. Magpies and crows have cored out our eyes, trimmed our beards and plucked our eyebrows. We never get a moment to rest: this way and that as the wind shifts direction, it swings us at its whim continually, more needled by birds than a darning thimble. No, ours is a club you should not rush to join, but pray to God that he absolve us all.

Jesus, our Prince, who reigns over us all, let hell have no hold over us sinners, let us owe it no debt or allegiance. Fellow men, don’t laugh at our fate, but pray to God that he absolve us all.

Ballade des pendus

Freres humains qui aprés nous vivez, N’ayez les cueurs contre nous endurciz, Car se pitié de nous povres avez, Dieu en aura plus tost de vous mercis. Vous nous voiez cy atachés, cinq, six; Quant de la chair, que trop avons nourrie, Elle est pieça, devoree et pourrie, Et nous, les os, devenons scendre et pouldre. De nostre mal personne ne s’en rie, Mais priez Dieu que tous nous vueille absouldre.

Se vous clamons freres, pas n’en devez Avoir desdain, quoy que fusmes occis Par justice; toutesfoiz vous savez Que tous hommes n’ont pas bon sens rassis. Intercedez doncques de cueur assis, Envers le filz de la Vierge Marie, Que sa grace pour nous ne soit tarie, Nous preservant de l’infernale fouldre. Nous sommes mors, ame ne nous harie, Mais priez Dieu que tous nous vueille absouldre.

La pluye nous a debuez et lavez Et le souleil decechez et noirciz. Pies, corbeaux nous ont les yeulx cavez Et araché la barbe et les sourcilz. Jamais nul temps nous ne sommez assis: Puis ça, puis la, comme le vent varie, A son plaisir sans cesse nous charie, Plus becquetés d’oiseaux que dez a couldre. Ne soiez donc de nostre confrairie, Mais priez Dieu que tous nous vueille absouldre.

Prince Jhesus, qui sur tous a maistrie Garde qu’enfer de nous n’ait seigneurie; A luy n’ayons que faire ne que souldre! Hommes, ycy n’a point de mocquerie, Mais priez Dieu que tous nous vueille absouldre.

@tuulikki

#François Villon #David Georgi #france #trs #poetry #swinging from the gallows tree #rogues in fiction

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quordleona03 · 9 days ago

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🍓 for the writer ask!

Writers Truth & Dare Ask Game

🍓 how did you get into writing fanfiction?

On 21st December 1981 I stared at the television screen on which Paul Darrow had just grinned Avon's last grin, and credits were rolling and the theme music was playing, and I had just seen Blake and Vila and Dayna and Tarrant and Soolin all die, and I was - in shock, I guess, is one way to put it. I was overwhelmed and horrified and sad and shocked. I'd loved these people, I'd followed them on TV for years, and now they were dead, and there was literally no one in my known universe to whom I could explain what had just happened to me: the fourth season of Blake's 7 had just ended in the most shattering way possible.

Every single one of the "fifth season" and "Avon shot the clone", and other "here's how at least some of them survived" explanations was in the future. None of my family had even been in the room where I was watching. None of them were fans, in the sense I came later to understand the word. Even if I said "I am sad because everyone I loved in Blake's 7 is dead" they wouldn't have understood how devastated I felt. So I wrote about how I felt, at length, in the journals I kept then - hardback notebooks, handwritten. I have terrible handwriting. It was worse then. Less than a year before this happened to me, I had decided I was going to begin to fulfil an ambition I'd had from early childhood and become a writer. My first novel was entirely handwritten and exists only in hardback notebooks. It had, as I recall, a hero who fought villains with a sword and looked very dashing in a cloak and rode cat-horses with expert skill. (I liked both cats and horses, so naturally, my hero rode an alien creature which partook of both.)

In the 18 months or so after this happened to me, while I had embarked on my second novel, which was typed, and was about a group of mad scientists solving an archaeological mystery, and would probably have been better if I'd known more about either mad scientists or archaeology or even, dare I say it, both? I found myself playing with ideas about another Blake's 7 story. Except the series was definitively over, there would never be another episode, so what was the point?

Well, I looked up how to write an episode script and found a bit about it and then just winged it and wrote an episode of Blake's 7 where a mysterious alien kidnaps crew and ship for mysterious purposes - I had a lot of fun writing Enigmatic Dialogue - and for the first time I my life, I typed up my story with a carbon copy and sent the story to the BBC. I don't know what I hoped for, but as I didn't know enough to include return postage or a cover letter, what I imagine happened is that someone looked at the typescript, shrugged, and binned it. (Had I included a cover letter explaining how old I was and how much I'd loved Blake's 7, I'd have probably got a nice letter back from whoever at the BBC had the job of writing nice letters to teenage fans of defunct series.) And then, one day in 1983, I was in the Science-Fiction Bookshop in Edinburgh (that was what it was called, yes, and yes, it was also the only science-fiction bookshop in Edinburgh) and I found a book called Blake's 7: The Programme Guide. I bought it, somehow. It was, to me in those days, pretty expensive. In the back of the book there were addresses of fan organisations, to wich you could write, and if you enclosed a self-addressed stamped envelope and a postal order, they would write back. With fannish newsletters, which was initially all I was looking for: other people who felt about Blake's 7 the way I did! Except, as I found when I read the fannish newsletters, there was a thing called fanfiction. There were people who were writing Blake's 7 stories. And they were being published, in fanzines. I could, with a postal order and sometimes a completely misleading statement that I was over 21, have these fanzines posted to me. And, which I will not pretend was not an economic impetus for writing fanfic throughout the years of fanzines, if I wrote a story which they published in their fanzine, I got a free copy. And then when I was 17 (I had figured out about being a lesbian) I went to my first queer youth group and met RiK who loaned me Marion Zimmer Bradley novels, and met Ajay who loaned me K/S (I had found out that the stories I particularly liked were called "slash") and she wanted to read all of the slash I ever wrote (she still does). RiK and Ajay and I are still friends, though all of this was 40+ years ago - there are no friends like your first queer friends from your first queer fannish group. And that's how I got into writing fanfiction.

#blake's 7 #writing fanfiction #fannish history #ask game

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